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I am an introvert.
It goes deeper than that; often when I’m out I feel… separate from others. Very different. Conversations that groups have often seem non-sensical, bordering on absurd. It’s very hard for me to be comfortable and be myself in a social setting.
This isn’t some form of social anxiety. I’m not nervous or panicked. I just feel isolated.
There are some groups amongst which I do not feel isolated. One of them is the ExpressionEngine community that I am part of, which includes my own team. I never feel isolated in this community. In social gatherings, I can find common interests and points of discussion. I am a bit uncomfortable in large party scenes where I can’t hear the people I’m talking to - but I suspect I’m not alone in that.
Like many, I am different online. I’m far more of an extrovert online. It’s easier, sitting here alone in my home, to speak freely in this online world.
In fact, that was one of the many problems I had with LA Fitness. As I’ve said to two co-workers, “I don’t like people.”. By the way, do not ever say that to a co-worker, since co-workers are people. But I’m very comfortable with my team and this slipped in conversation when I was dreading my daily LA Fitness workout.
Saying that to a co-worker is not a good career move. Learn from my mistakes, people.
In any case, after extricating myself from that enormous faux pas - because I love *my* people - I explained.
I do not like working out in a gym fully of sweaty, judgmental, strangers. Which is, by the way, exactly what LA Fitness encompasses.
It comes as a surprise occasionally to my community and co-workers that I am so anti-social. Why? That’s simple. I’m not an introvert around those I trust and respect - and I have deep trust and respect for my team, and a great deal of respect for the community that has grown up around us.
So it may come as a surprise that Friday night found me in a bar, with loud music, surrounded by strangers - and enjoying myself.
You see, CrossFit Hillsboro had a happy hour Friday evening. Jonas said I should stop by, even if it was for only a few minutes, as we finished the workout. So I went home, showered, and headed over to the meeting place.
It was quiet when I got there, and I found a seat and talked with a few of the folks there. More and more people from CFH came in and the bartender jacked up the music. For a short while I felt a little out of my element.
People started getting up and moving around, so I did the same. I shifted over and said hi to one lady and we ended up conversing about our dogs. Ok, that’s comfortable territory, and she was fantastically nice.
I chatted with another lady about being new to CrossFit and Paleo, and about music! We had music in common, piano playing and returning to that. Another common point.
That conversation drifted off and I shifted over to say hi to a friendly face, and she introduced me to the others at the table and I sat there and chatted with them. The topics ranged the spectrum. I found myself smiling, engaged…. happy.
Me. Happy in a bar surrounded by new friends.
Who am I?
I continued to wander and converse with some of the folks there. They dispersed to go to karaoke and I decided to head home, tired and hungry, and a little drained from the new experience. They were disappointed. My new friends wanted me to join them.
Still I declined, and here I am writing about my experience.
Today I found in my new CrossFit community friends. I’ve lived in Oregon for 4 years, and haven’t made many new friends. I start going to a gym, full of some of the most incredible athletes I’ve had a chance to talk to - and they are friendly, encouraging, impressed.
They’re impressed, by me. By taking this huge, drastic step. By me doing Paleo, by my progress so far, by the long road ahed that I am skipping down. These incredible, fit athletes - who I am beyond impressed by - think that I’m doing an amazing thing.
And they were absolutely sincere.
Here’s the thing. When Chuck told me that CrossFit was social, I almost decided not to take part. I am not a social person, that is now how I identify myself. Remember - sweaty strangers? Do not like.
But the people at CrossFit are friendly, they’re encouraging, they connect with each other. How many gyms have happy hours like this? Not the kind of gyms I’m used to.
I’ve found a new community. A local one, one with real people that are supportive, awesome, and well… just incredible. I feel welcomed.
Here is what I know. I am almost in tears over having had a social experience with new friends, where I didn’t feel uncomfortable or isolated. I didn’t think it was possible for me to make new social connections, especially ones that did not have their roots in pixels.
Robb Wolf says in his book many times that he’s writing to save your life - “you” being the reader. I believe that the dietary changes may be part of that.
But CrossFit is part of it too, and in ways that I never dreamt. Never did I think that this discovery might lead to a new world of social connections and potential friends.
This is a new place for me. Is this part of who I am now?
-Lisa, on March 26, 2011 at 9:30 pm