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Change is hard.
Routine? Routine is easy.
Over the last 3 months I have changed in many aspects spanning both my work and personal life. These changes are difficult, and reverting is so easy.
At work, I’ve been setting aside time to read. I’m hoping to improve how I communicate with others and am reading books on doing just that. How I interact with others, how I approach conversations - both easy and difficult - could be a turning point for me throughout everything that I do. I have certain weaknesses, but one weakness stands out beyond the rest:
I interrupt people.
In some cases, listening without interruption is something that I’m able to do easily and naturally. I find, however, difficulty in keeping my mouth shut when it the conversation revolves around something I am passionate about. However, interrupting others is not only rude, but it disrupts the flow of communication. It makes conversations awkward, tense, and sometimes hostile.
Having a great idea in the midst of a conversation is a good thing; it is learning about how to store that thought and how and when to share that thought later that I need to learn to control. Simply coming up with an idea, or “having something to say” does not mean that it should be blurted out over whatever someone else is saying.
This is a terrible habit that I have. It was never acceptable; but as I succeed in my position and move into senior roles at EllisLab, addressing my inability to remain silent and listen is going to be critical for my continued success both personally and with my team. In order for people to feel respected, honored, and cared for - I have to learn to listen, and find appropriate times and mediums to bring my ideas out.
Truthfully, this is not only a good change for my ability to exist and excel within a social team, but it will also force me to take some time, to truly consider my ideas, to refine them, and to give me time to come up with arguments for why they’re good ideas.
But the real benefits will be smoother and easier communication with my peers.
Changing communication styles is certainly a hard change to achieve. How one communicates comes from a life-time of habits and interactions. Changing that style is not going to be easy but it must happen for me to have the success that I seek.
There are other changes that I’m undertaking, no less difficult, but perhaps already somewhat successful. Those that watch my Twitter know what these changes are: diet and exercise.
First, let it be known that I am lazy. My natural persona is complete and total laziness, sprinkled with absolute obsession once I become passionate in some area. Those that talk to me often are certainly sick of me at varying intervals. I talk about certain subjects to the point of annoyance. Often my dogs, fairly often my fish, and recently my diet and exercise.
In 2010 and years before that, I ate pizza. I ate a lot of pizza. I also ate a lot of pasta. I ate tons of bread, and drank milk like it was going out of style. I ate chocolate, candy, chips as if they were nutritious.
Let’s face it, I’m 100lbs overweight. That’s fat. It’s uncomfortable, it’s annoying, and it ain’t healthy to say the least.
Making a major change in my lifestyle was not a New Year’s resolution. I’m not sure when I decided to make the change, and I can’t begin to tell you what motivated me. For years I haven’t been interested in changing. I was mostly content with how I looked and generally content with how I felt, and when I felt bad I was happy to blame anything but diet and lifestyle choices.
At some point in December, I got on the scale and weighed 258.8lbs. There, I said it out loud. I was perilously close to 260lbs. I couldn’t even remember gaining the weight. It was 2-3lbs a year. Ok, maybe 4-5. It was insidious and easy to ignore, until I stepped on my Withings and it stared me in the face.
On that day I started limiting my calories to 1400 calories/day. I had finally stopped coughing and started running, biking, and swimming again. Over 2 months I lost 20lbs. This was successful and maintainable.
The last week of February/the first week of March I went to Dallas with other EllisLab full-timers. I love my team, and seeing them is a joy. But this time it changed my life.
Wes introduced me to the Paleo diet. No grains, he said. No milk. “Impossible,” I declared. “I eat and drink that stuff with almost every meal. It’s not possible to give those up and be happy.” I may have rolled my eyes. (see the part about bad communication habits above.)
But the idea was planted: biologically appropriate diets for people. My dogs are fed biologically appropriate foods; what is appropriate for humans? I got home and asked Wes about the books he recommended, then devoured The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf and am currently halfway through Primal Blueprint
I believe.
Ok, this isn’t a cult or a religion (though reading some forums might give that impression). This is a choice in what we eat, with copious knowledge on how food and exercise impact our body’s ability to function, right down to the most basic level. Reading this I’ve learned about ketosis, insulin, glucose and glucogen, LDL particle sizes, LDL that was both good and bad and statins that decreased both, HDL, Triglycerides, and a variety of other things and how diet and exercise impact these.
Reading Rob and Mark’s work - it all makes a great deal of logical sense.
So for about 3 weeks I’ve been on a fairly (99%) strict Paleo diet.
I feel a million times better. The GI issues from having my gallbladder removed are gone. My energy levels are steady and appropriate and I feel great. I don’t crash, I don’t bounce off walls. I’m happy, productive, able to think more clearly.
Paleo is a big change, and it’s not a temporary change. This is a life change for me. Yes, there will be cheats; one of them will be chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and I’m sure that I’ll pay the price for days after. There will also be NY pizza.
But most of my life will be eating a paleo/primal diet.
The other major change I’ve made is exercise. Instead of doing dull, boring workouts for an hour a day, I go 5x/week to CrossFit at Pacific Personal Training.
Remember, I’m lazy.
I love CrossFit.
It’s short, it’s intense. I often feel like I can’t push any harder or go any longer - but I do both push harder and finish the workout. CrossFit almost seems custom made to the kind of exercise I need to do to stay engaged for the long haul. Not to mention that when I hit my goal weight and body fat percent, I’ll look like I work out. I’ll look fit. And I’ll be able to lift things I never dreamt of lifting before.
That’s what I want.
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Making changes to communication and lifestyle are probably some of the most core parts of who we, as humans, are. How I eat, how I am active, and how I interact are all getting a major overhaul.
Is it too much to take on at once? No. For me, it’s exactly what I need to do.
I honestly believe the diet and exercise will save my life. I was heading down a wonderful path to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, heart attacks, cancer, and other wonders that I’d prefer to avoid. I may not be able to avoid them, but at the very least I know I’ll have done everything in my power to keep myself healthy.
As far as communication; not knowing how to communicate well limits you greatly. In order to succeed and work well in a team - especially a fully distributed team - you have got to know how to communicate well with others. I did that at a lower level with enough success to make it this far; but now it’s time to bring that skill to the next level.
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I am not sure who I am now. I’m not the same person that I was; but there are parts of that girl here. How I view life, how I approach challenges, and how I interact with others along the way are all changing dramatically.
It’s a new world, and a different path on a very great journey.
Here’s to a life full of friends and adventures.
-Lisa, on March 24, 2011 at 9:30 pm