. . . in the distant, early morning . . .

Wonderment

Here I sit, nursing a rum & coke, watching tv, and just relaxing.  I’ve spent time this evening loving Milton, Elka, and Mali.  Mostly I’ve recovered.  Traveling to Seattle was a great, enjoyable experience.  But any travel takes a different type of energy than used every day.

I’ve also been re-reading what I posted whilst staring at the beautiful scenery out the windows of the train.

Mom called and asked me, very worried, if I was happy.  She’d read that post.  I never intended to alarm anyone.  I am extremely happy.  I have a beautiful family, a gorgeous house.  I have a job that I love with a team of people that I am extremely proud of.  I have wonderful friends, both local and around the globe. 

This isn’t the life I envisioned myself in when I was younger.  When I was younger, I envisioned the man, the dogs, the white picket fence.  There’s no man here, and there’s no picket fence.  I’ve done this on my own.  HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?  I am undeniably successful, though in ways I had never dreamt of.  I don’t know what my future holds, but I think my present is so wonderful that it borders on unbelievable.

I saw someone complain a few weeks ago, one of my friends, that people always bemoaned their lives.  I have my moments of depression, of thoughtfulness, of regrets, of hopes and dreams.  But I wouldn’t change my now.  My now has some failures, but it has a great many more successes that far, far, far outshadow the failures.

Here is a toast to my wonderful family, my friends, my team-mates and the wonderful community that supports us.  Here is to the all of the strangers that I met the last few days, that were friends for a brief time, to the friends not yet met, and the strangers I’ll never meet.

Life is a grand adventure; sometimes it is confusing, a wild ride.  Sometimes I look back and wonder.

And sometimes, I look around me in wonderment.  What a strange and wonderful experience this life turns out to be.

-Lisa, on September 3, 2010 at 9:14 pm

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