Heading toward 2023.

New Year Resolutions. I don’t tend to like them. Mostly because they fade away. Quickly.

I’ve spent 2022 building new habits, growing, learning. Also, I suppose, shrinking?

Today, this last day of 2022, I consider what I’ve done this year.

  • I’ve gotten into and stayed in the 150-155lb range. My lowest adult weight.
  • I’ve revived my love of reading, though I now combine that as book reading and book listening (thanks to the Kindle/Audible sync) and read for multiple hours every day.
  • I’ve picked up a lifting routine to get strong.
  • I have practiced a new language (Dutch) every day.
  • I’ve learned how to cook several new dishes and am enjoying learning more.
  • I’ve returned to horseback riding regularly. Finding my way out of anhedonia and into joy.
  • I’ve done (and continue to do) the mental health work through EMDR that has lead to my continual healing from the trauma & abuse I dealt with for years in Hillsboro then Southern Oregon.

Going into 2023 I find myself for the first time with optimism and hope. I am now fit & healthy. I am an equestrian, reader, learner, and cook.

My New Year’s resolution, then? KEEP IT UP!

No new habits or big changes. No new commitments heading into 2023. I have some goals around my new habits, of course! Striving.

I head into 2023 self-embodied, self-aware, and ready to continue on this incredible journey.

I head into 2023 grateful that I got out of that toxic mess before the pandemic started. Grateful isn’t a big enough word.

I head into 2023 grateful that I have a wonderful support network.

I head into 2023 overjoyed to have re-connected with friends that I was purposefully isolated from.

I head into 2023 independent, healthy, supported, and safe.

I head into 2023 with hope and optimism I thought I might never feel again.

I head into 2023 wholly me.


Healing without medication

Had a physical today and went over my blood test results.

All the problems I had last year – especially cholesterol – solved. All of my numbers are perfectly in range. No signs of insulin resistance or fatty liver.

I’m healthy.

I did it.

No statins (they’re seriously controversial and may even do harm…), no drugs or meds. Some supplements & lifestyle changes.

  • Cut back on diet soda from 1 liter/day to about 1 small bottle a week
  • Added Omega 3 + Coq10 supplementation, and Berberine

… and I didn’t do any long fasts (or even regular fasting) for 3 weeks leading up to my blood tests. Fasting can raise cholesterol – who know? My previous physician simply tried to put me on a statin with NO DISCUSSION of lifestyle or other factors that could play into the test results.

I fired that doctor.

Then I fixed me.

I am no longer at risk of cardiovascular disease. I am not a likely heart attack candidate.

All of the hard work, fasting, lifting, rowing, restrictions – they all paid off. I’m healthy, I like how I look in the mirror, I like that I can move. I found sustainable practices that will keep me healthy for decades.

I’m feeling incredibly proud of myself today.

DEXA scan results and hyper-babble mode.

Been wanting to write to the internet about this. Hyper-babble mode engaged.

I had a DEXA scan on Saturday. I was pleasantly surprised by the numbers, as my scale was showing 33% body fat. DEXA says 29%

Here are some screenshots from the scan. Turns out I’m healthy right now!! I have a high metabolism (shocker!!). My bone density is excellent, and I’m symmetrical hehe.

Here’s the results for those interested. I wish I’d done this both in 2010 and in 2020. I’ll go every 3-6 months now.

I annotated the results a bit to make them more understandable.

While the DEXA scan will become important when I get follow-up scans (to make sure I’m losing fat and adding muscle, while not losing bone density), the results of the Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) test are what I needed right now to dial in my food/exercise.

I’m much healthier than I expected. I’m also undereating by a lot -which is not sustainable. But I will be able to eat nearly double once I hit my goals. The current goal is about 25% body fat, ~135lbs – but then I want to see muscle definition.

This journey will take 2-5 years. My goal date to see some real muscular definition (maybe even abs? Though that’s very dependent on genetics) will be my 50th birthday (I’m 45 right now).

At which point I’ll simply… continue, forever. So that I can live a long, healthy, mobile, and active life.

Can I actually keep it up? I think I can. I’m really enjoying the lifting routine (push-pull, legs, 3 days on, 1 day off) and learning how to cook healthy, high-protein meals. It feels sustainable but…. so did paleo for the first year. Intermittent fasting has proven much more sustainable, at least.

And yes, I’m still eating choc chip cookie dough, pizza, ice cream, cake. Just … not constantly, as I used to. I think that’s part of why this feels sustainable when I bombed paleo after a year. Too much restriction and sacrifice on the paleo setup, at least for my sugar-addicted brain.