100lbs lost

100.2lbs lost as of this morning.

My heaviest weight was 258.8 on October 7, 2010.

This morning I weighed 158.6.

It wasn’t ~12 years of effort. I got down to 185 or so last time, then I started dating. Being social was a big challenge for paleo and eating out, especially back then. I got back on track and got down to 176.4, then started to go up again.

I ended up involved in a very abusive relationship with two people. Over the following years, as I entered survival mode, I gained and gained weight. Those relationships fully ended, thankfully, in 2018.

But healing is stressful and painful, too, so I continued to gain, eventually getting up to 230lbs.

On December 30th, 2020, I happened down a rabbit hole about Intermittent Fasting, something I had been interested in years earlier – but “not eating” was “not allowed.” Simply not being hungry for breakfast had serious, punitive consequences for me. If you’ve been with a narcissist or another type of abuser, you might understand this level of control. I hope you have no idea wtf I’m talking about.

2018-2020 I tried to get back on to Paleo and failed miserably. What had been easy for me the first time seemed impossible now.

Back to December 30th, 2020. After watching YouTube videos from Dr. Fung and some random personal journies – I immediately started fasting with no other plan. It wasn’t until about a month later that I added CICO restrictions and ate more healthy and less processed food. I found fasting to be easy, even enjoyable. My brain fog cleared up, and I had more energy. Food was an easier decision. Life eas easier. Fasting is great! This has turned my life around and feels sustainable for the long-term: a natural fit.

MyFitnessPal says my start weight for this round was 230lbs, so 71.4lbs lost since December 30, 2020.

It’s been a heckin’ interesting ride, and my health journey continues. 

A Photo Journey

Things and stuff.

Just putting something here so the RIP posts for Elka & Milton aren’t the top-most post.

As for them? I miss them and there’s no way to make a big enough statement to encompass the big feelings. I have a memorial wall, photos everywhere. I still cry nearly every day over them. I also feel at peace; I had a lot of time with them. I gave them a good life – not great, because of the abuse I, myself endured – but a good life.

As for me? I’m doing amazing. I’m at my lowest adult weight ever, only in the “overweight” range, and on track to hit my goal weight by September. I intermittent fast nearly every day, cook giant meals of low calories thanks to volume eating, and walk 2-5 miles every day. I set up a stand for my yoga trapeze/trx/wodfit rubber bands and went from being able to do only 4 assisted pull-ups (blue band, not even on the strong, black band) and this morning I did eight assisted pull-ups! That’s in less than a week.

I see K 1-2x/week and may explore opening up my social circle now that the pandemic seems to be…. more manageable? Thanks, summer.

In EMDR now 2x/week dealing with the many years of trauma inflicted by my exes. Learning a lot about myself, how I got there, why I stayed, and how to heal and keep myself safe now.

Anyway, no one I know reads this anymore since I quit writing. Blogging made way for social media. Are small, personal blogs even a thing anymore? Who the hell knows. But here I am, randomly and rarely writing here.